I can't get used to the nighttime news being at 10:00 here. The Fox affiliate news is at 9! Central time is just... weird.

I'm trying out local honey as a method of alleviating my allergies. Allegedly, ingesting pollens will build up your immunity to them. Not sure if it will work, but it's worth a shot. The honey guy at the Farmer's Market said it would have more of an impact in the spring than the fall. He seemed trustworthy so I bought some. I mean, he was wearing a beehive hat. If you can't trust a guy wearing a beehive hat, who can you trust?

Oh, yeah. Number of Nazis: 60. Number of Counter-Protesters: 800. Yep, diversity-loving Madisonians outnumbered lame bigots by over 1300%. Looooooooosers. Even God hates them! At precisely 2pm, when their lame rally started, the skies opened up and torrential rains poured down. Beautiful. At the Farmer's Market, some of the farmers were selling "Protester Tomatoes: Big and Mushy." I heard a little girl ask her father, "How come Nazis can come here?" Her father replied, "Because in America, you have the right to say whatever you want, no matter how ignorant and stupid. But that doesn't mean we have to listen to them." Then he gave his daughter a dollar to buy a cookie from a Hmong baker.

I think I love this town.

Well, the hippies next door are playing their bongos again. Which would be fine, because I like drums, but this particular hippie isn't terribly good. Get some rhythm, man! Tap into your suburban-white-boy angst!

I guess they're taking semi-musical advantage of a break in the near-constant rain (and totally sweet thunderstorms) we've been having the past two days. The Midwest certainly doesn't skimp on their severe weather. I did notice, however, that they did not take down their proudly-displayed East German Commie Flag. Taking your flag out of the rain is for bourgeois capitalists, man! Actually I suspect they were all too stoned to remember.

In other No Longer Relevant Fringe Group News, apparently Nazis* are coming to town tomorrow to have a protest on the Capital Mall. Tomorrow is also the day of the Nation's Biggest Farmer's Market. Let's think about this a second: Nazis + The Kind of People Who Buy Locally-Grown Organic Food + Lots of Throwing-Sized Fruits and Vegetables = Fun for the Whole Family! You can bet I'll be there to see what's happening. I'm pretty sure the hippies next door will be, too.

*I find Nazis' continued presence in today's world especially laughable, because seriously, who do they think they're kidding? There's apparently a counter-protest scheduled, but that's just feeding these idiots' delusions that they're important. Ignoring them would really be the biggest blow to their sad, pathetic psyches.

How to Feel Like the Star of One of Those "Girl* Making it On Her Own in the City" Movies on ABC Family**:

1. Dress for Success! Wear a flowy skirt that will billow nicely when a breeze hits it. Wear your hair down for the same reason. Sunglasses are a must, because of course the day is sunny and beautiful.

2. Location, Location, Location. Girls in the aforementioned movies are never walking down a boring, run-down residential street while a vaguely familiar non-offensive pop song is playing. No, they're out in the thick of things, among the bustling crowds! Choose a busy street in the center of town.

3. Walk the Walk. Even if you're lost and have no idea where you are or how to get where you're going, walk with confidence! With head held high, a confident stride and a spring in your step, no one will know you've been wandering the streets for hours trying to find the place to register your car and get a parking permit.

4. Music. Make sure bring your iPod or fauxPod, because the 1-800-Safe-Auto song that's stuck in your head won't really make you feel in charge. I recommend Dire Straits' "Money for Nothing," particularly the part where the opening guitar riff kicks in over the synth, because that is just badass. But really, anything with a good beat will work.

5. Attitude. This is what brings it all together. You own this city! Ain't nobody gonna slow you down, oh no. You're gonna make your dreams come true, doin' it your way! You're gonna make it after all!

*Dudes, you're out of luck on this. I'm not sure anyone makes "Guy Making it in the City" movies that don't involve murders or threesomes.
**Tutorials on Finding Quirky Yet Endearing Supporting Characters and Landing the Soul-Crushing Job that Inevitably Somehow Leads to Your Dream Career will be forthcoming. Or not.

Feeling a bit blue after your parents leave and you're alone in a new city? It helps if your roommate has 500 cable channels and you get wireless internet. Yeah, I'm watching TV while tooling around online. Don't judge me, Star Trek is on. I'm powerless against the sexiness of Captain Picard.

The apartment has no A/C, but it's extremely pleasant with all the windows open. I can see the capitol dome from my room, and at night it's lit up and beautiful. The lake's a block and a half a way. I didn't see anywhere to hang my hammock, but I'll make it happen. It's a great neighborhood, the farmer's market is three blocks away. If I ever get a new camera/the old one fixed, I'll be posting photos. This place is going to be gorgeous in the Fall, particularly the Arboretum, where my parents and I went today. Although after the fall comes... The Winter. But it's way too early to think about that now. It's lovely out!

Ooh, now Under the Tuscan Sun is on! Great movie for starting in a new place. God bless you, Charter OnDemand Cable!